It is coming up on a year since Braedwyn died. It seems like an eternity and like yesterday. I can't write of "moving on" or "things getting better" because there is huge chasm in my heart and soul and between my arms.
I have attempted to get used to life without him here. I have tried to find new and unconventional ways to love him. I have to say, nothing beats having him here. I miss him so much.
Since Arrowen has been born, we have been occupied in the intense drama surrounding her. But, Braedwyn is always with me. How comforting it would be to come back from the hospital visiting Arrowen and have one of Braedwyn's "knock you over" hugs.
There are many wonderful things I could write about Braedwyn (and I think about his lovely ways all the time), but I find most of what comes from my fingertips is still a heavy sense of sadness and an intense, unfulfilled longing to be with Braedwyn.